New Threat Identified: al-Qapone Network Warns 9/11 Truth Movement

Glorious Leader

Greetings in the name of the holiest of holy hand grenades, dogs.  It has come to the attention of the warriors of al-Qapone that increasing numbers of infidels are questioning the role of the al-Qapone network in the glorious attacks of 9/11.  These dogs, who we call Deniers, worship the false prophets of so-called scientific inquiry, especially the dirty son of a whore known to them as Isaac Newton (probably Jewish), a loathsome insect whose ideas have poisoned the minds of the weak for centuries.

Let it be decreed that whosoever shall be found undermining the rightful glory due to the warriors of al-Qapone by denying the destructive capacity of our hijacked planes, our merciful use of cell phone repeaters to allow the doomed infidels to relay glorious accounts of our successes in the skies, and especially whosoever shall deny the most glorious of strikes on the Five Sided Fortress by the martyr Hani "The Hawk" Hanjour, will be banished to the darkest corners of the internets where their insolence will be neither seen nor heard.

To those infidel dogs who wish to be spared this fate we have the following suggestions:

• cease all blasphemous denials of the achievements of al-Qapone (see last paragrpah)
• denounce in public the heretics among you, especially the dog David Ray Griffin
• accept and denounce the failures of your leaders to protect you from al-Qapone on 9/11
• rejoice over al-Qapone's long and fruitful partnership with Pakistan, Turkey, and Saudi Arabia
• follow the lead of your own infidels SnowCrash, Victronix, YT/Cosmos, jimd3000, Jon Gold, and others who have repented of their Denialism and accepted the truth of al-Qapone's existence and achievements

Though we have lost a great leader in brother Usama, al-Qapone has never relied on any one person, however great, to sow its fear and wreak its havoc on you.  As the Big Anniversary of the Big Wedding approaches, please to heed our warnings and respect our demands lest we make you look like foolish kooks before your fellow infidels.

As-Salamu `Alihop!

M. al-Qapone